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Covenant Keeping

June 21, 2008

I work with a guy who is going through a divorce… a nasty one it seems. We were talking about it the other day and I asked him why they were divorcing – especially considering they had two little boys. “Well, she’s a …. ” He then proceeded to call her names that I probably shouldn’t repeat on here. So I guessed “She cheated on you?” Nope. He never would be specific about the reason, and I didn’t really press him, mainly because I didn’t think he could actually tell me. I went to a meeting the other day where the instructor introduced herself as a recently happy woman after leaving her husband of 30 years. I also recently talked to a good friend of mine who is on the verge of divorce – he has the papers, but has yet to file them. He can’t bring himself to do it. I asked him why. He said, “I know that despite how bad things seem to be right now, if I divorce her, I will regret it. I want this to be over sometimes – to just start over. That’s what my friends and family are telling me to do. They tell me I can find a godly woman who is right for me and who will be good to me, and that may be true. But I know that if I persevere in this marriage – even if it takes 10 years to become a happy couple – God will be more glorified and will bless us.” If only the other millions of families going through or contemplating divorce had this perspective. We all know people whose marriages are falling apart and who are not choosing to honor God by making the right decisions. Pray for these people daily that God would grant them the same perspective as my friend so that they might glorify God through their marriage.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. June 23, 2008 12:55 pm

    Yes. The sooner we realize that marriage is not about us, but about the triune God, the better off our marriages will be. As hard as it is in practice, if we’d just learn to give like Jesus did, without expecting anything in return, risking everything, then maybe we would start glorifying God in marriage.

    I’d suggest pushing your friend a little further: “happiness” is irrelevant.

  2. July 23, 2008 8:24 pm

    Hey Chris,

    Sorry it’s taken so long for me to reply. I completely agree with you – including the happiness is irrelevant part. The thing about marriage (and life in general) is that complete self-giving – regardless of what you receive in return – is the only real path to true happiness. I think that is the perspective my friend has. Unfortunately, it looks like the divorce is going to happen, though. She keeps pushing him and I think he’s going to give in. It’s one thing for me to sit here and encourage him to continue to persevere, but after a year and a half, there’s a part of me that sympathizes with him. I can’t imagine how exhausting and heart-breaking life is for him right now.

    BTW, we had Robin Guest over for dinner the other night and she wanted me to tell you “Hey.” She lives here in Nashville.

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